I came to college with a different perception of alcohol. I promised myself I would never abuse it the way I witnessed many of my family members do. So as a freshman, I would go to parties and feel incredibly uncomfortable―almost angry at the past seeming to repeat itself miles away from home. People would say stupid things, make stupid choices, and wake up the next morning and blame it on the alcohol. I knew this wasn’t the way I wanted to have fun, but I thought this was the thing to do in college. I never told anyone about my family’s history with alcohol, so I would go to parties and dump my drink out in the sink when nobody was looking. It took some harsh words from a supposed friend to wake me up to the fact that I was pretending to be someone I wasn’t.
After a night that was intended to be fun, but quickly reached the brink of danger, this person said to me that I “needed to drink more because I was too serious all the time.” That’s when I realized that my relationship with alcohol would never be the same as others who don’t have a similar perspective and past as me. I decided to surround myself with people who didn’t feel like the weekend was wasted if they weren’t insanely drunk. And when I finally made the choice to honor myself, I met my best friends. I started seeing movies, exploring the city, and trying a bunch of restaurants in the area with them. Yes, drinking could have been a cheaper option for us, but we wanted more out of our college experience than blurry weekends spent in a basement. This isn’t to say that I never went to parties―I did. But I went with people who respected alcohol, recognized their limits, and drank responsibly. The nights were so much more fun when everyone remained in control. We still looked out for each other, but I wasn’t overcome with anxiety or worry over what might happen next.
I used to see my family’s alcoholism as a curse, but I recognize that it’s worked as a blessing in my life because it’s given me an informed perspective on how to respect the substance. When I turned 21, I didn’t go crazy like the typical stereotype of a newly legal, young person. I wanted my 21st birthday to set the tone for how I would treat alcohol the rest of my life―safely, in moderation, and as a luxury. My friends took me out to my favorite restaurant in Philly, and we all ordered our drink of choice off the menu. I stopped at two glasses of wine because that’s the amount I can handle― plus, we had plans to go ice skating in front of city hall afterwards. It was the perfect night that we all cherish and remember to this day. And yes, it wasn’t necessarily what most 21-year olds do to celebrate their birthday, but I’m okay with that. Because it’s how I wanted to celebrate my birthday.
My message to everyone is to recognize that there are so many ways to have fun during college that don’t involve alcohol. When you hear someone say that he or she needs alcohol in order to socialize, that should be a red flag. Habits form now, so becoming dependent on drinking to have fun is a dangerous prospect. It happens one drink at a time. And if you are this person, I encourage you to take this 96 hour sobriety challenge. Explore other fun events going on at Villanova and in the surrounding area. Use these 96 hours to reflect on what you want the rest of your college social experience to be like. This is an invaluable opportunity for self-reflection, meeting new people, and stepping outside of the perceived norm of the social scene. This Live Free Weekend isn’t about reprimanding those who choose to drink during college. Rather, it is a weekend devoted to cultivating a culture of people who can be themselves, genuinely connect and socialize in ways that make them fulfilled, and raise awareness about drinking responsibly and safely for the rest of our lives.